December 24, 3: After another eventful year for global financial markets, there is plenty to look back and laugh about. A young girl and her father are looking at a nursery full of newborn babies. All of them are crying. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has announced he is willing to serve another term. A Nevada brothel won approval for the first prostitute to start working. The good news is that, last year, the F.

Michelle and Sasha Obama vacationed at an exclusive Spanish resort, while Washington, D. A Wall Street trader is leaning out the window one afternoon watching the traffic go by. He accidentally falls, plunging four floors. As he lies on the sidewalk, a very pretty women comes up to him and asks: Before those financial hearings in Washington started, everyone had to go through security. When Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfine was made to empty his pockets…lots of Republican senators fell out.

Lemme get this straight, I give you one cigarette and next week you give me ten?!!

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer? Toyota has recalled another 1.

The company issued an apology: We hope that this recall reestablishes Toyota as the undisputed world leader in defective vehicles and poor management. Stupid me; I never even knew that Toyota had a model called the Egg.

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Jokes - Stock Market Puns

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Privacy FAQ Change Password. We didn't recognize that password reset code. Please enter your email below, and we'll send you a new code to reset your password. We've sent you an email with instructions to create a new password. All FP Tech Desk. The best financial jokes of Handout. Filed under Investing Trading Desk. The economy of Greece is in Ruins………. He looks at her and says: The first line says: How much did you make last year? The second line says: How much do you have left?

The third line says: Send it to us. Will Next Search for Presence of Goldman Sachs Traders. Day One Prison roommate: And what sort of case was that? Mortgage Calculator Calculate your monthly mortgage payments. Mortgage Comparison Compare payments and other costs associated with getting a new mortgage. Mortgage Qualifier Begin the process of finding out how much you can borrow. Home Budget Calculator See how much you have left to save and where your money is being spent.

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How to be a Millionaire Calculate what it will take you to save one million dollars. Get the latest news in your mailbox as it happens. China hopes fourth time is the charm for MSCI inclusion Bitcoin bubble bursts as cryptocurrency plunges nearly 20 per cent. Don't check the rearview mirror Tesla — Apple may be gaining on you Hunt for yield boosting Canadian hospital and university bonds. Dollarama's Latin American partner key to future international expansion strategy Watch Get ready for Super Thursday, because it could be a bumpy ride.

Collection of Stock Market Jokes after the Crash [unyyozeqy.web.fc2.com]

Rolls-Royce, Momo, Sony and other top picks from Sohn Hong Kong Watch WATCH Trading Desk: Sun Life Financial Inc upgraded on attractive valuation, improvements at MFS What WWDC announcements will have the biggest financial impact for Apple? Royal Bank to cut jobs, mostly at head office, in banking's shifting landscape Canadian banks have announced more than 5, job cuts tied to restructurings during the past three years.

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Sears Canada said to be preparing to seek creditor protection The court filing will likely lead to a liquidation, with the business sold off in pieces, sources say. Find Financial Post on Facebook.

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